November 2009
“Eskimo brothers. When two guys have sex with the same girl, they’re eskimo brothers. You have to know who’s in your eskimo family tree, that’s how you get things done.”
—Taco
“Packaging is like the clothing of food.”
—Jim Gaffigan
“What’s the back-up plan? What is Plan B, C, D, if this miracle does not happen, and LeBron does not choose to play for the New York Knickerbockers?”
—Spike Lee
“I broke into her place. I ripped her sink apart. I brought a bag of hair, you know what I mean? And I come across looking like a total jerk.”
—Charlie Kelly “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System”
“Any job. I don’t care if it’s a porn shoot in which he is gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback apes. If there are cameras rolling, everybody wins.”
—Ari Gold
“You know what happens when you lock your knees? You die.”
—Pierce “Community”
“One and nine makes me look at my wife differently.”
—Donnie Walsh
